Life Altering Decisions

Why is it that most people think that having a child is such a hard desicion?

Why is that many people think that children are so hard to raise?

Why can't there be enough love in someones heart to forgive and forget an incident that happened many years ago?

What if in order for you to save your own life you have to take experimental treatments?

What if you want nothing more than to be loved?

Is life so full of gambles that a person can't see outside themselves?

Why do some women stay in a violent relationship when there is help available to them?

Why is life so full of so many choices that can be perceived in many ways?

What if you are not sure that that special someone is right for you?

Are you sure you are mentally and emotionally ready to sttle down?

At what age do determine is the best time to make steps forward in life such as work or going to college?

Is a person too concerned with themselves that they don't care what happens to their family?

So many questions have came to mind when I wonder why it is that I was put on this Earth.

Ahhhh...

The things to do when you find someone has registered on another forum with your persona to slander the ones you love.

I have just spent the last 3 hours waiting for a lovely two pages of text written by someone else in the Jumpgate community under my callsign waiting for the web master to remove it.

I had to actually threaten to contact the website host and threaten to call an attorney, but it's done.

I even took the time to call the persons ISP with there IP address in hand thanks to the forum admin.

It only took them ten minutes to get someone to call me back who in turn had another person call me back who in turn is going to have someone call me in the morning.

Good god is a person not safe anywhere?

Oh well, I think I have rambled enough....

Why is it when we hear the word "cancer" we all cringe?

I use to think that cancer was something horrific that is until here recently. I have been debating with myself since March 16 on whether or not to begin chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. You know the first thing I thought of was a very vain thought. I thought about my hair. You see I have this beautiful long red hair that I use to hate but for some reason as i got older I now love. I thought to myself great I get to go bald. This hair took me 28 years to get use too and now that I love it I am losing it all. To make matters better RK went out and bought me everything from scarves to a basball hat to cover my head with. He even laughed and told me when I decided to shave it he gets the first whack out of it because I got to cut his.

Anyway now that I have begun treatment my focus has changed more toward the fact that I may not live to see my daughter even graduate from high school with the therapy if it doesn't work. You see I am in a predicament as to continue my treatment and try to see her turn 18 and graduate. The reason I am having doubts about chemotherapy is not so much the hair lose but more along the lines that chemotherapy isn't fun. You get extremely tired, weak, nauseous, shakey and alot of the time very tempermental. In fact, poor Josh reaked the wrath tonight poor guy.

I think I am just tired alot of the times of him tip toeing around me. I am sick. I have cancer. Get over it. In fact I love him to death but he is just really getting on my nerves right now because he treats me like I am sick and I don't want to be sick. All I want is for him to treat me like he treated me before. How do I manage to get that treatment now? I feel like when he looks at me he sees the cancer and not the person. I don't want you to have pity on me because of the cancer.

I want you to love me. I want you to hold me and caress me. I want you to talk to me. I want you to express your feelings to me verbally not electronically.

I am not a strong person you know this I just tend to deal with everything day to day. I know I offended you tonight and yes I meant too. I was trying to be hurtful to you. I feel like I need to push you away because if you get too close I am just gonna die anyway so why hurt you more.

I have plenty of faults and one of them is loving you. You do deserve better than me. You do deserve someone like your mother. Perfection is always the key. I just can't stand the whole idea of you having Gabbie call someone else Mommy. Of course by now I am rambling so I better get to bed.

I love you,

Stephanie

Police Investigate 2 Cases of Abandoned Babies

Quote:
Jun 27, 2004 11:31 pm US/MountainDENVER (AP)

The body of newborn baby boy was found Saturday in the trash in a bathroom of a sports bar.

The baby appears to have been full-term and his body was discovered by a cleaning crew, police spokeswoman Virginia Lopez said. Police were searching for the baby's mother.

The discovery came a day after another baby was found in a dumpster in another part of the city. That baby was placed on life-support at St. Anthony's Central Hospital, Lopez said.

Firefighters were dispatched to the area after someone called to report a woman in labor in a house nearby. They then found the baby, wrapped in a blanket and placed inside a box, in the dumpster.Lopez said the mother was found and there was evidence that she had given birth.

State law allows parents to abandon a newborn baby if the baby is left at a hospital or fire station.

OK...now that I have read and re-read this I want ten minutes alone with these woman. So many people that want to adopt and they throw theirs away like they are trash.

Happy Birthday Christopher

Quote:
The sadness over a child's death is unbearable.
You think the pain will soon end.
The sadness whenThey are so young and innocent.
The anguish you feelWhen the doctor says, I'm sorry, we did everything we could.
The pain of holding his lifeless body
And saying, I love you one last time, the hurt and
Loneliness you feel when you pick out the last
Set of clothes he will never outgrow.
As theCasket closes you wonder why my child.
Christopher was a Heaven sent gift.
I will never forget any intricate detail of his short precious life.
It has been two years and nine months
Since my child took his first breath of life.
It has been two years and four months since he
Took his last breath of life.
Christopher, mommy is in pain everyday that you are not here to play.
Until we meet again, mommy loves you.
The month of June brings back alot of memories.